Close to Easter I always make sure I read the four gospels. I remember the first time I did this. After reading these gospels, I sat back in my chair and relived those stories in my mind.

We all think how wonderful God was to give His only son to die for our sins so we can be saved. But have we really thought about what happened at the time before this.

Jesus was temped by Satan. He started preaching, baptizing and healing. People loved listening to him. He had thousands of followers. He chose twelve disciples. He did so much good.

Then I start thinking about his days before his death. Things completely changed. He was betrayed by his disciple Judas for 30 pieces of silver. He was arrested by the priests and teachers of the law. My thoughts change from happiness to sadness.

I placed my thoughts to what he went through for our sins to be forgiven and saved. So many times he was punched, hit, slapped, spit on, made fun of, stripped of his clothing and a crown of thorns shoved on his head. The he was whipped raw to most of his body.

Jesus then stands in front of the priests and people. Pilate asks who will be set free – Jesus, or Barabbas who was a murderer? The people chose Barabbas. Then they wanted Jesus to be crucified.

From all the beating he even had to carry his own cross and they whipped him as he carried it until he collapsed. Even after he was placed on the cross, they mocked him until his death.

I felt the pain of the whipping, the nails being hammered into his hands and feet. Then, as I thought about it, I wondered to myself, “Were any of my ancestors laughing or crying at Jesus those couple of days?” I will never know. I can’t even imagine how God was feeling while this was happening. I know that day that ten thousand angels cried. I’m sue they looked at God hoping He would stop this injustice. He could have stopped it and just wiped everyone out, but He didn’t.

But then I thought and I knew that what had happened, had to happen. God loves us so much that He let His only son go through a horrific death. A death that not one of us could have endure; not even half of his beating could we endure.

I am sorry for what he had to go through, and I know one of those lashes of the whip was for me. But because of all Jesus went through, we are forgiven of our sins, and are saved.

Knowing all this, God is number one in my life always. So as Jesus’s death approaches and we sing praises to him, let us also remember what he went through for us to sing those praises to him.

Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

I have learned that at those still moments, God can truly speak to you.

Starting in the middle of December, I was called by my sister to meet the family at the hospital. Their son, Kenny, had cancer at the age of just one year old, and again at the age of 18 years old. Kenny was now 46 years old.

Kenny was diagnosed with the worst kind of cancer – pancreatic. Doctors gave him a month to live. Kenny did well over the holidays.

The first sign of God speaking to me was when I was asleep in my living room late one evening. I heard my sister say, “It is getting harder.” I awoke thinking my sister was there in the room. The next day, Kenny’s organs started to shut down. Four days later, while my daughter and I were with the family, Kenny went home to be with Jesus. While standing there in the room with their pastor, a Chaplin, and other family members, God gave me the lyrics “We are standing on holy ground, and I know that there are angels all around.” There was peace in the room.

The second sign was when one of my nephews, who lives on a farm, found out one of Kenny’s wishes was to ride on a big John Deere tractor. Jimmy took Kenny for a ride on a big tractor – how exciting that ride was. Then, one week to the day of his passing, while I was sitting in my sister’s kitchen waiting for the undertaker to arrive, we heard a loud noise outside. What do we see going past the house but a big John Deere tractor. What a God moment. I believe there are angels all around!

Kenny was a very loving young man. He always had a smile on his face and was ready for a big hug. He captured the hearts of the cancer doctors, pharmacy people at the Hanover Wal-Mart and of course his family members.