Approximately six years ago, I was diagnosed with Lupus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease that causes many symptoms that can vary from person to person. My biggest struggles have been joint pain and fatigue. It was incredibly scary to think that I would have this for the rest of my life. About three years after being diagnosed, it became harder to go up and down stairs. I would have to stop halfway, take a break, and go the rest of the way. It was so upsetting that I wasn’t able to play in the yard with my girls like I had before. Our house, that I thought was average sized, seemed overwhelmingly big and became harder and harder to take care of. The fatigue was frightening at times. I was in consistent prayer asking God for help. He led me to new ways of eating and different vitamins to take to improve my quality of life. And although this helped with energy levels, I was still in a lot of pain everyday.
As a family, we decided it was best to sell our house and find something that was one level. We put our house on the market and within two months we had a contract. We had also found a doublewide trailer for sale on a one-acre lot to move to. The road to get from one house to the other was rocky to say the least. I was feeling so much stress and guilt about making my family move because of my illness. I remember one Sunday morning during my prayer time, I cried out to God and just prayed, “Lord I feel like I’m drowning. Please save me!” I got my family and myself ready and we came to church. I was a greeter outside that morning and this is the first time that I had done this. While greeting and talking to people, a man walked up to me and said, “You look like you could use some jewelry.” He placed a necklace in my hand and walked away. When I looked at the necklace in my hand, it was a simple chain with a small opal butterfly pendant. I almost started crying. The butterfly is a symbol of lupus because of the butterfly rash you get on your face and the awareness color is light purple. If you have seen an opal it looks iridescent and has a purple tone to it. God had heard my prayer. In that moment, I knew He loved me and will take care of any situation in life.
I love the verses in Matthew 14, the story of Peter walking on water where is says, “But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’”
In that moment I was Peter. I stepped out of the boat and started the process of moving, but when things got scary I started to sink. I cried out and asked for help and just like the scripture says immediately Jesus reached out his hand and pulled me back up. Why did I doubt Him? I’m not sure because He has never let me down before. However, even though I doubted, He still immediately came to my aid. I KNOW with all my heart that my GOD, my SAVIOR, loves me and when I feel I need that extra reminder, I wear the butterfly necklace that God gave to me.