I officially became a Christian about twelve years ago. I say this only to explain that I still consider myself young and somewhat childish in my walk with Christ and even in my theological understandings. I consider myself blessed to say that I have not faced huge trials or temptations in my walk thus far, but I have certainly seen God work on me and in me these past several years nonetheless. One of the more recent understandings I’ve had with God came about four years ago when my husband, Ethan, started working third shift. Each night, there I would be. In my house. In the country. Alone.
As a woman, maybe the fear of being alone at night is a little more heightened (or the fear of not being alone I should say). A few months into this new living situation I started to have issues going to sleep because my mind would start playing the “What If” and “What Would Happen” games. What if someone broke in? What if someone tried to hurt me and I couldn’t get help? What would happen if God, knowing my fears, used these scenarios to try to test me and make me confront my fears? Sad to say this went on for a least a week or two. And more than the first two thoughts, the last one troubled me the most. What if God let something happen to me?
Abraham too. Heck, Jesus was tempted right out of the waters of baptism. Scripture even tell us we’ll face trials and
temptations. I’m not sure I would do so well.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” (Romans 8:28)
“The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.” (Psalm 145:9)
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him.” (Psalm 34:8)
I slept fine for the next year or so until my husband moved to first shift again (and then I didn’t sleep for like three months, but that was due to a newborn baby and is a whole other devotional for another time). Not to say I didn’t have the late-night thoughts creep in every now and then but I could rest in His promise and faithfulness. Why?
Because God does not seek to cause us harm. He does not seek to hurt us. He does not just sit around waiting to “get us” and then ask why we didn’t trust him. He is good. He is loving. He desires for us to draw near to Him, but he calls us gently and without brute force. He knows all of our thoughts, our fears, our worries and temptations, yet he does not use those against us for His own gain. He seeks out the good. He uses our good. He works for our good. He is GOOD.
Again, I consider myself young in my walk with Christ so perhaps this isn’t as revelatory for some, but this was just an amazing realization for me. I felt my worry lifted and my fear diminished. Because I love and serve and trust in a God who faithful and good.
“In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.”
(Psalm 4:8)